Me with my Mom in September, 2014It’s been more than a year since I have ventured onto this blog. I’ve been living in short bits and bytes on Facebook, mostly, without anything so earth-shattering to say that would warrant an entire blog post. In fact, it’s been a mostly uneventful year, full of the sort of mundane, everyday things that happen in a family with adolescent and young adult children. Somebody got braces, someone attended community college, we all went to an amazing wedding, and there were a couple of concerts and a movie or two. In the absolute height of boredom for a knitting blogger, I am still actually knitting the exact same project that I was working on when last I graced these pages. Ho, hum! How many times can you endure me droning on and on about the same gray blanket? (Progress is happening, by the way, but it is painfully slow. Suffice it to say that I’m glad the project is so big after all, because the baby recipient is going to be a full-fledged little boy before he gets it.) So you see, my life has been incredibly boring and un-blog-worthy.
Except, at Thanksgiving this year, everything changed. On the Monday of Thanksgiving week, I lost my mother. I know many of you have also been through this, so my experience is not unique. It was not unexpected, in that she had a chronic form of leukemia for eight years, that almost always ends in death, eventually. Except that it was a huge shock. We didn’t really see it coming. She had hopes for a potentially life-saving bone marrow transplant in January, and then, all of a sudden, in November, she went downhill fast. She had gone into the hospital on November 20, a Friday, complaining of shortness of breath. On Monday, she was gone, and that was It.
Nobody tells you about all of the things that must be done when someone dies. There is no way to prepare yourself for the plans that must be made, the accounts and subscriptions that must be cancelled, and the piles and piles of things that must be gone through, to unearth the special memories, photographs, and mementos of a very full life. Nobody tells you that while people can, for the most part, empathize with what you’re feeling, they can’t really feel it with you, and don’t understand. Nobody tells you that this is when you figure out who your real friends are, and how many whom you thought were your friends, are miles away because they can’t stand your grief. No one can really explain what a lonely, awful process grieving is.
And yet, this is where I find myself now, with Christmas coming. I am looking forward to seeing family again, even though the one person I want to see most right now is the one missing. I am sure there will be laughter, and some good memories about this year, but I am also preparing myself for tension and sadness. It’s just that it’s so soon, and none of us have really figured this grieving thing out yet. We’re all in the throes of it, all lost, together, trying to figure out how to have Christmas without the one person who was at the center of it all for our family.
I will miss hearing her laugh at and with her grandchildren. I will miss all of the silly names she had for everyone, and I will even miss the ugly nightgown I won’t be getting this year. (Thanks, Mom; I actually have a drawer full of them to last me a lifetime.) Someday, in another post, I hope I can happily tell you what a wonderfully, zany person she was and what I learned from her. Today is not that day, though, and I hope you will bear with me.
In fact, I’m not quite sure, in the end, what I’m going to do with this blog. The fact that I’ve been so long without it maybe means that I can do without it. Then again, something urged me to write this today, so maybe the jury’s still out. I’ll see you again, in this space, before I make a final decision. If you find this after such a long disappearance on my part, thank you for reading.
How to make a mini-vacation in a place where you wouldn’t think such a thing is possible:
1. Take the time to go to a nice restaurant in the area. Fast food is fine when you’re on the road, but restaurants can make memories. Absent that, make a memory by just showing proof that you were there.
Family Selfie: Trish, Steven and John
Here we are at The Chop House in High Point, NC. Steven likes steak, so why not? It was delicious, by the way, and fancy! They even put a purple flower on my plate:
Steak and mushrooms with purple flower
(How did they manage to make my dinner match my hair?)
2. If the hotel has a pool, stop by, even if it’s just for a few minutes. It’s always more fun when you say you went swimming.
Steven swims while Trish knits
Did I mention? Always bring your knitting. You’d be surprised how much you can accomplish in hundreds of miles.
3. Enjoy a leisurely breakfast watching cartoons, if for no other reason than to block out the horrid news of that particular day:
Steven eats breakfast while watching cartoons tableside
4. Find your kindred spirits, go where they are, and embrace them. We can’t hide the fact that we’re nerds. We argue amongst ourselves that there are varying degrees of nerdiness, and that some in our family can raise the Geek Flag way higher than some others. But, we can’t escape it. It’s who we are, and we’re proud. So imagine finding out that Greensboro is actually quite the center for Geek Culture. We found a fun coffee house where “our people” hang:
Steven plays video gamesJohn shares stories with a coffeehouse patron
Partake of the cultural foods:
Caramel Bacon Cupcake
Can someone explain to me the geek culture/bacon connection? I don’t quite get it. But, when we got to the coffee house, and saw they had caramel bacon cupcakes in the dessert case, we had to try one! Or, at least I did. It was surprisingly yummy… it was an apple spice cake with salted caramel frosting and bacon on top. Not that I would eat this every day, but when in the land of geeks…
Wishing we could have been there for game night:
Wall of board games
And don’t forget to take a family photo with the TARDIS on the way out!
Trish, John, and Steven with the TARDIS
5. Keep your eyes open, because when you’re headed to one specific place, you never know what else you’ll find along the way. In our case, there was an amazing comic book store right next to the coffee house, Acme Comics:
Acme ComicsAcme ComicsThe boys are finding things they like in the comic book storeGroup of campers visits the comic book store
While we were in the comic book store, some kids from a local comic book day camp stopped in. They were able to browse and ask questions. One kid asked what was the biggest difference between comics of today, and vintage comics. The owner replied that today, comics are mostly produced by one person or a small group, using a computer, and that in the “olden days” it was a multi-step process involving lots of people working by hand. There was a book in the store that explained this process.
John and Steven found a comic book
John and Steven found a comic book that they couldn’t pass up, which was a mashup of Doctor Who and Star Trek, the Next Generation. I’ve always heard that you’re not supposed to mess with the space-time continuum this way, but what do I know?
6. If you’re a knitter, follow the smell of yarn fumes. It will lead to magical places:
Gate City YarnsGate City YarnsGate City Yarns
In Downtown Greensboro there is a thriving artist district, full of galleries and quaint shops and restaurants. This is where one would find Gate City Yarns, which contains a wide variety of yarns and spinning fibers. It is a lovely, comfortable shop with helpful staff and comfy couches, a spacious classroom in back (I peeked) and an atmosphere that just makes you want to hang out a while. I visited the shop on our trip to Greensboro last year, and it was well worth the return trip. Of course, if you’re not a knitter or crocheter or spinner, then waiting around while your loved one shops isn’t really a hardship there:
This is how John and Steven shop for yarn.
7. Find a restaurant with character to have lunch, instead of eating fast food, and enjoy it.
The nice lady at the yarn store recommended a tavern called Liberty Oak for lunch, and it was yummy! It was a nice place that offered outdoor seating. It was a nice day and not too hot, so why not? Here we are:
Trish, Steven and JohnTrish and John
I have to say I had one of the best sandwiches I’d ever eaten:
Sandwich and fruit
The sandwich consisted of smoked turkey, Granny Smith apples, sprouts, and bleu cheese/walnut spread on toasted raisin bread. And a lovely assortment of fresh fruit. My mouth is still watering; it was delicious!
8. Don’t forget the real reason you headed to a place like Greensboro to start with. For us, it was that our daughter was participating in the UNC Greensboro Summer Music Camp, and there was a recital on the last day, that we did not want to miss. Diana was first chair flute this year, and had the honor of performing two solos, one on flute, and the other on piccolo. Here is one piece in which Diana had a solo. It’s called “Song for Lyndsay.” As you’re looking at the stage, Diana is to the right of the conductor with the bun in her hair:
Here are some other images from that wonderful event:
As an aside, if you have a kid who participates in instrumental music, vocal music, or piano, we cannot recommend UNC Greensboro’s Summer Music Camp highly enough. The experience is superb, the music is fantastic, and your kid will come away with an experience to remember forever. We are so proud that Diana was able to participate for two years.
9. When in the South, you must eat at Cracker Barrel. The Old Country Store is full of entertaining things:
[justified_image_grid ids=”6904,6905,6906,6907,6908,6909,6910,6911,6912,6913,6915,6916,6917″]
As you can see, we crammed a LOT into our little trip to Greensboro. Maybe someday soon, we’ll go back and actually set a spell, as my grandfather would have said. Maybe we’ll even stay awhile. We kinda fit right in. 🙂
I don’t ever talk about my job on the internet. Not because I have one of those super-secret jobs that I’m not allowed to talk about. It’s just that when I’m not at work, I want my internet to be all mine. I don’t want to have to be careful about what I think or what I say because I’ve linked myself to some job and I have a certain image to uphold. Once you tell the interwebs where you work, you never get a day off from being that person, the grunt who goes in to the office day in and day out, whose job is mostly ordinary, but forces you to have a certain image to uphold.
I like my job–or I don’t like it, depending on the day, and whether or not it’s budget season–about as much as the next person. I mostly like it because of the people I work with, and because I make a difference for the people I serve every day. They almost never thank me for this, but I don’t even mind, most of the time. Because I know I’ve made a difference, and most days? That’s enough for me.
But, in my career as a Federal employee, there have been Three Terrible Days. Three days that have shaken me to the very core, and made me question how, even in my mundane world, I could ever be safe.
April 19, 1995.
September 11, 2001.
September 16, 2013.
That day in 1995, I thought, was the worst. It was when some idiot with a God complex took it upon himself to teach us Feds some kind of lesson. On that day, 168 people lost their lives. Most were people like me, doing their mostly thankless jobs on an ordinary day. Eleven of them were my colleagues, and I still remember their names and faces.
Then, of course, was September 11, 2001. I have never been more afraid of anything than I was on that day. On that morning I was avoiding starting my mundane, thankless job by chatting with a friend over instant messenger while sipping my coffee. My office at the time was just across the Potomac River from the Pentagon, and though we were miles away from the disaster, the thick black smoke that roared into the otherwise cloudless sky screamed the rage of death and destruction. When trying to make it home that day, somehow my husband and I ended up gridlocked in the one place we wished we hadn’t been… right outside the Capitol. Not knowing whether that hallowed building would be next on the hit list was unsettling as we sat unmoving for nearly two hours–so close, in fact, that the sharpshooter who had his gun pointed in our general direction, I”m sure would have thought nothing of going right through us to get to the enemy… if it had come down to that. (Thankfully, of course, it didn’t.)
And now today. Today’s shooting at the Washington Navy Yard was the terror next door. Based on what little I know of the (very secure) facility, the gunman was on a walkway several floors up that overlooked the cafeteria. And, he just started shooting. I don’t know if there was a reason or if it was a random act, but a couple of things struck me. My building’s dining room can be described as an atrium with a walkway above, from where one could look down and see early morning meetings taking place, coffee and a last-minute laugh being shared by two co-workers about to embark upon their mostly thankless day, or the inevitable runner who is late for that 8:30 meeting. What I could never imagine, looking down on those scenes, would be observing the very last seconds of someone’s life, frozen in time.
Today’s event did not impact me directly, except that as a precaution, we, their neighbors were put on lockdown for the day. This meant that every meeting I had scheduled was canceled, because inevitably a key player in each case was on the wrong side of the door. Being locked in, in a not-quite-business-as-usual state gives one a lot of time to think. And so I’ve been thinking a lot of all of the people who were just doing their jobs.. And I want to thank them.
Wow. So it’s been a few weeks since I’ve blogged. Not much going on really, except that it’s summer, and that means there are kid activities and family events to attend and even a quick weekend away, though I would not exactly call it a vacation. More on that part later. But suffice it to say, that even if my blog has been neglected in recent weeks, my knitting has not.
I made a pact with myself earlier this summer to be sure to knit something, even if it is just a few stitches, every day. Most knitters out there are probably laughing at me for this, because I am sure most of you do knit every day, or at least more than I do, judging from the number of FO’s I’m always seeing on Ravelry. But for me, for whatever reason, I love to knit, but often go days at a time without doing it. And then I’m mad at myself for not making progress on my projects. And the truth is, I feel better when I knit, so why not make a bigger effort to do it?
I haven’t quite managed to knit every, every day, but I’m getting closer. I’ve even got several projects going that are all seeing some progress, including an alpaca tube scarf, dishcloths, and yes, my own Color Affection shawl. The shawl is what I want to give a peek of today, because I have finally started the short-row section, and thus have added the third color to the mix:
Color Affection Progress
Sadly, the longer I work on this, the less I am liking the color combination. Which is silly, considering that I am all about purple and green in combination, in so many of my yarn choices right now. And I’m sure it will be great when it’s done and it’ll look like “me”–whatever that is. So I’m keeping at it. In fact, I made a lot of progress on it so far this weekend, because of a weekend road trip that had me in the car for many hours. Hence, my next topic.
Yarn Tourism
Last week my daughter attended Music Camp at University of North Carolina Greensboro. On Friday, which was the last day of camp, each group gave a concert, and I did not want to miss it. So, my in-laws took her down there, and went to visit their daughter in Cary for a few days, and then met my husband, son and me back in Greensboro at the end of the week. It meant driving seven hours on Thursday, attending dinner and the concert on Friday, and seven hours in the car again today.
So, faced with a few hours to kill in the late morning/early afternoon, which was too long to do nothing, but not long enough to do anything major, I whipped out my iPad because I remember someone on a podcast I used to listen to mentioning that there was at least one nice yarn shop in Greensboro. The first one to come up in my search was Gate City Yarns, so I called to make sure they were wheelchair friendly (they are! yay!) and off I went with my patient husband. I was not disappointed. The shop is situated on a bustling main street of the likes that I did not expect to find in Greensboro. It would seem that there is quite the artist community there. with galleries and fun cafes and shops all up and down the row. The shop itself is roomy and inviting, with a big antique bathtub full of yarn inside. The place sort of gave me the modern, industrial feel, but with an air of coziness. (The comfy sofa with afghans draped all over it added to that feeling.)
I’m the kind of person who buys yarn by sight and feel. That is, if it looks pretty, I’m attracted to it, and if it feels nice, even better. Plus there was the whole “souvenir factor” of buying yarn in a new shop in a strange city. So, I got these:
Rainbow silk and lavender and green sock yarn
The one in front is Schaefer Yarn “Andrea” in the colorway “Hermione.” (I have always been attracted to rainbows, and this is, indeed, the softest rainbow I have ever encountered.) It is a silk lace weight, about 1090 yards… which sounds like a lot but can be used up quickly. So, as usual I have no idea what to make with it that will bring out the colors in just the right way. I’m open to suggestions… I’d love it if I could get the colors to pool in such a way to achieve a tie-dye look, rather than a mottled, varigated look, but I don’t want to have to think too much.
The other yarn is Frolicking Feet by Done Roving Yarn, in the lavender and sage colorway. (Green and purple? Yeah, I told you I’m obsessed.) I did just sign up for a sock class on Craftsy , so maybe this will be used for that.
Oh, and I even had a knitting related birthday gift! Well, to be fair my husband and I are past the point of surprising each other with gifts so I sent him a link about a month ago and said, “Click here, honey, in case you mgiht like to know what I want for my birthday this year:
Addi Turbo Clicks
Yep, I am now the proud owner of a set of Addi Turbo Click interchangeable needles. I bought one pair in advance to make sure I can operate them, and after fumbling a bit, I did figure it out. So, I asked for the set, and my husband was sweet enough to get them. Kinda makes turning 48 not so bad. Sometimes.
Well, this blog post has been a long one! Hopefully I will start posting again so I won’t have to catch up so much all at once. If you made it this far, thanks for reading! And do let me know your ideas for that rainbow yarn. I don’t want to let it linger in the stash, but I do want to do something that will do it justice.
