Sigh…

Ever have one of those days where you bite your lip and it REALLY hurts, but you keep biting it, over and over, because it’s puffy and just in the way? Haha, yeah that’s my life today. It seems like nothing I did turned out right. I didn’t knit a stitch. I think that might be the root of the problem. And the project I was working on for work fought me every step of the way. It was a complex document, with many sections, and a series of other documents at the end. The main document had its own styles for headings and subheadings and such, and the other documents, which are examples of forms and such, had styles all their own. So of course nothing played nice with each other and I fought and struggled with it for hours before giving up. I hate it that I’ve been using Microsoft Word for 10 years now and I still don’t always get how it works. I wish I could still use WordPerfect. Complex documents were so much easier back in the day… sigh. So I feel like my gum-and-band aids attempt at fixing this document was less than ideal. Which makes for the feeling of a giant, wasted day. A giant, wasted day with no knitting.

I should know better.

I’m itching to cast on something new. I want to work on my Girasole blanket or the Coraline cardigan. I must, however, avoid the urge. I have so many other things to finish! Sigh. And more yarn’s coming tomorrow. I have visions of tiny flowers on a greeting card…

My brain’s a busy place.

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Another Boring Sunday…

Today’s been a quiet day around the house. I’ve gotten exactly one half of one row knit. I’m supposed to be paying bills, and I will, but I thought I would blog first.

Tomorrow’s the first day back to school after a 10-day spring break. As usual, the mom and dad are glad to be getting back to some semblance of routine, but the kids? Not so much… BoyZilla just had a twelfth-degree meltdown, figuring that if he didn’t go to bed, then maybe tomorrow wouldn’t come. I know kid, ends of vacations bite. Suck it up.

I’m teleworking tomorrow, and I’m glad, because I really hate Mondays. Don’t tell the BoyZilla, but I have a colossal meltdown EVERY Sunday night, only a telework Monday seems to soften the blow. At least a little.

Spring seems to be making an earnest attempt at hanging around now, which makes me happy. And the pool is opening in about a month already, and I’m kinda kicking myself. This year has flown by! (My mother told me it happens when you get older… it sucks, doesn’t it?)

The thing is that this was the year I kept telling myself that there were a lot of things I was going to fix. So far, none have really happened. Get organized. Exercise. Eat well. Lose weight. (A LOT of weight.) Sleep more than three or four hours at a time. Be nicer to people. Sounds like quite a list, doesn’t it?

That’s the problem. My list is so long, I don’t even know where to start. I feel pretty alone and overwhelmed by my goals most of the time. So it’s like I have them on a shelf, right next to me. I can see the goals nearby, staring at me and taunting me. I know, I should tackle them one by one, and in little bits at a time. And then I think that they’re ALL so pressing, each one needs to come first. They’re all important. I’d probably feel better if I just somehow did all of the things on my list, and then so much more would be possible because I did. And yet, it’s all too overwhelming.

So what do I do? I blog. And I knit. And I generally spend too much time on the computer, pushing all of the things I really need to do out of my mind, and out of the way.

It’s not what I’m supposed to be doing and it’s not really working. Someday, I’ll sort it all out. But for now, I gotta pay bills. Argh! See you later.

And now, I leave you with a smile:

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Day One

Well the new year started off with a bang around here. I was up most of the night not feeling well, and consequently spent most of the day asleep. Not the good kind of all snuggled up in bed sleep, but the kind that would find me in the middle of writing an e-mail and waking up to discover that somehow an hour had disappeared. Yuck.

Consequently the knitting I had planned to do today went right out the window.

I hope your New Year’s Day has been more exciting than mine! I’m yawning again so I think I’m going to bed for the night. I’ve got a new Episode of Cast On to keep me company if for some reason sleep eludes me again. Then, if all goes well, I’ll get up tomorrow morning and put on a pot of stew in my new crock pot that my mom gave me for Christmas. And I’ll knit. I have a hat to finish for an anxious little girl — the one who’s really not so little anymore and for whom teenagehood will arrive in 2009.

Yikes.

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Christmas Spirit?

Bah.

It’s 1:00 a.m. on December 24. I’m as ready for Christmas as I am going to get. The presents are wrapped, the living room has been made ready for Santa’s visit. The Christmas cards are done and mailed, and except for the fact that my house is its usual cluttered self, yep, I’m about as ready as can be.

Except that I’m not. Not at all. I’m not feeling it this year. I haven’t even watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” yet. Or The Grinch. So it can’t be Christmas. Not yet.

A few years ago, my daughter unearthed a dusty yellow binder from a pile of old books in our dining room nook, and asked me with great curiosity what it was. “It’s my diary,” I replied, “and no, you can’t read it. Not ’til I’m dead.” I did write a lot in my teens and twenties. Not so much now, if the mere fact of having a blog doesn’t call me a liar. The diary does contain my first heartaches and other stories that I’d probably shudder if my mother or my daughter read them. But it also contains a collection of stories and poems I wrote as a young teen, back in the days when being in a wheelchair pretty much meant I didn’t leave my house except for school. One of those stories was a Christmas story I wrote as a Christmas present to my father in 1979, at 14. Given that it is December 24 after all, I thought I would share it here. Please don’t laugh. I copied it as was, from my teenage perspective. Perhaps I will read it to my kids tomorrow. Maybe you can read it to yours.

The Christmas Spirit

If you’re celebrating something over the next couple of days, make the most of it, whatever it is. Life’s too short not to try. And now, I’m off, to do just that. I’m going to give this Christmas Spirit thing a good try. Wish me luck.

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A Little Christmas Music

Check out this Christmas Compilation over on Magnatune… Nice!

Magnatune Compilation: Christmas

I tried embedding it on my site but its CSS and mine aren’t playing well together and I don’t have time to mess with it. But, if you head over to that site you can hear the album in its entirety right on your PC. Then, you can buy, and YOU get to decide how much you want to pay! Magnatune is a great way for independent artists to get their music out to the public and I do try to support them as much as possible.

Not much knitting going on this weekend. But hey! The Christmas cards are done. At least a few folks will be getting them before Christmas, and that’s a good thing! All of my wrapping is done too. Now the only major thing I have to do this week is prepare our Christmas Eve dinner. I’ve decided on a roast chicken, cornbread stuffing, and green beans with red bell peppers and sesame seeds (red and green with snow!). I don’t usually care too much about plate presentation but on Christmas it’s different. It has to be yummy AND pretty. Wish me luck, I’m trying new recipes this year.

I swear, I’ve got to get back to the knitting. It’s making me crazy not to. Maybe tomorrow we’ll have a knitting post. K??

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