This is my new pancreatic assistant, aka my insulin pump. I’m calling it the Purple Pumpernel. Hey, I might as well be good-natured about it, right? More about this later. Mr. Pumpernel and I need to get to know each other first. Goodnight.
You might have noticed that I haven’t updated this blog since July of last year. I’m kinda sad about that! But what I realized is this. I’m now doing a lot of different things in my online life, and I have expanded beyond the typical blog. With the advent of Facebook and other means of sharing my online self, I find myself enjoying the immediacy of quick, little blurbs, or a quick photo, or whatever. So, as my new blog format emerges, hopefully it will become conducive to various types of communication, and allow me to update more frequently.
Here’s the thing, though. It might take me a while to get it where I want to be. And also? I might talk about more than just knitting… which has become something of an embarrassment to me lately. But, that’s the subject of another post for another day. I promise. Hang in there with me…. I’m coming back.
Medic Alert Bracelet with purple symbolAnd the letter of the day is…D.
I haven’t written in the blog much over the last several months, not because I haven’t been knitting, but because I have been obsessed with a new aspect of my life. Well, it’s not so new. But my approach is. I suppose I ought to explain.
In October 2010, on the same day that my beloved cat Tegan passed away, of all things, my doctor looked me squarely in the eye, without an ounce of sympathy and quite a bit of sternness in her voice, and handed me a diagnosis of diabetes. Knowing as I did that I was going to have to leave her office and go straight to the vet with my cat to put her to sleep, the simple words that she used hit me like a slap. Not that I wasn’t expecting them. I had been “pre-diabetic” for a number of years and knew that my blood sugars had been inching in the wrong direction for some time. I’ve heard that with diet and exercise, some people can reverse the outcome of pre-diabetes and somehow not develop the full-on disease. I am neither a food zealot nor an exercise guru, as I am fairly convinced it would have taken both extremes to change any outcomes for me. So, whether the doctor in question intended the outcome to make me feel this way or not, I started feeling as if the reason why I have diabetes was My Fault.
Nevermind that I have a strong family history of diabetes on both sides of my ancestry. Nevermind that I was insulin dependent, despite healthy eating, during my second pregnancy. Somehow I felt as if I had failed the pre-diabetes entrance exam and brought this disease wholly upon myself.
What I realized recently, after making even more lifestyle changes and taking oral medications that were making me feel sick, Is that while I can take responsibility for having made some poor eating choices in my past, and will probably never be perfect in that regard, I can’t always control what my body does with the food I eat. And guess what? I’ve found out that even if I have a “perfect” food day, or a run of near-perfect days, my blood sugar’s still too high. And so maybe? Just maybe, it’s not really all my fault.
So, I decided that it’s time to give my body what it really needs–insulin. I don’t know why so many people jump through so many hoops to avoid doing the insulin thing. Maybe I’m weird that I don’t mind giving myself the shots. But, the truth is, I do feel better since doing them.
Still, there are many things about having diabetes that clearly suck.
While I don’t mind having to take insulin shots, I do mind having to stop what I’m doing to take them. (Like I said, I’m weird.) Yeah, they come in a pen-like dispenser and I don’t have to draw up syringes anymore, but still. Dinner arrives and I want to dig in, but wait–I have to shoot up.
French fries are not my friends. Damnit.
Chocolate cake… le sigh… see above. Double Damnit.
My most recent jewelry acquisition? My brand-new, shiny titanium medic-alert bracelet. Ok, so I managed to incorporate my favorite color and a peace sign, making the most un-cool bracelet in the world kinda cool, but still. Isn’t the big red “D” on my forehead enough? (Wait, you can’t see it? It’s there… I can feel it as a constant reminder. I just know it is…)
Pasta… I miss you. I’ve found low carb options that are basically tasteless and “miracle noodles” that look kinda scary and I’m afraid to open them because they look like giant tentacles suspended in liquid and I’m afraid they might actually be alive. (Shudder.)
Despite all of this, which clearly sucks–I’ve said that, right? It clearly sucks. I am determined somehow to make friends with diabetes. It’s that, or be miserable and resentful for the rest of my life. And yeah, right now, I feel that way a lot of the time, especially while it’s all so new and my insulin levels still aren’t quite right enough to give me even one “normal” day. Not yet. But it’s inching in the right direction, I hope. And I’m learning a lot about myself in the process. I’m not happy about it and patience and understanding, rather than blaming the fat girl for her own poor fate, are much appreciated. I can’t say I’m happy about the new club I’ve joined. But I’m looking forward to the day when I can feel at least a little bit normal again. It’s coming… I only hope it’s soon.
And, in the meantime? At least I’ve got my knitting.
On Friday, I received a new knitting gadget in the mail. No, that’s not true, really. The item I received is actually quite old, and best as I can tell, never used, or only very gently used. It is a Hobby-Knit I-cord machine, and it was manufactured in about 1949. Somehow a knitting vendor received some remaining new old stock of this device, and I’ve been eying it for a while. I don’t know why, but I-cord fascinates me, and I have collected all sorts of devices for making knitted cord for years. Yes, I know that I-cord can be made with knitting needles, by hand. But I love the cranky machines, antique spools, and all sorts of gadgets that have been created with the idea of making a simple knitted tube.
Here’s a photo of the machine with all of its parts, including the original manual:
Hobby-Knit with all parts shown
And here it is, all set up and ready for knitting.
Hobby-Knit machine set up for knitting
Here’s a closeup of the knitting mechanism:
Closeup of the knitting latches under the plastic yarn guide
Here’s a closeup of the original label on the machine… it looks like new! The label says, “Hobby-Knit, Pat. App. for Montello Products Co., Montello, Wis.” Even the abbreviation conventions are suggestive of its age.
Label on the machine
My friend Rachel and I made a short video of the machine in action. Check it out; it actually works!
We didn’t use the yarn spool in our demonstration because we wanted to try knitting straight from the yarn ball. It works, but we found that we have to put additional tension on the yarn coming from the ball with a free hand, as shown in our video. Here’s a closeup of the yarn spool:
Closeup of yarn spool
And finally, here’s a photo of the cord as it’s coming out of the bottom of the machine:
I-cord knit on the Hobby-Knit machine
The resulting cord is a finely knit 6-stitch beauty, which I think would be the perfect size for jewelry making and other things requiring a not-too-thick cord. Isn’t it lovely?
The truth for me is that I’m not sure how often I will use this machine. I’m betting I will use it for some jewelry making from time to time, but so far I find the machine fussy to set up and work with. I’m sure I’ll get better with practice, but there are other machines I have that I also enjoy but are a bit easier for me. That said, there’s something magical about this little beauty. It gives me a feeling of nostalgia to use it. I wonder how many people in the past actually might have had one of these and what they made with it. I’m thrilled that this machine is part of my collection. It makes beautiful cords, and makes me feel like I have something special.
Closeup of Clapotis, showing beginnings of dropped stitches
This week, I’ve finally begun the “straight rows” section of the Clapotis pattern. This means I get to drop stitches! Yay! On purpose. I’ve actually done this before (follow the link and scroll down for the evidence), and it is terribly fun at the outset. The problem, as I see it, is being able to maintain my mojo all the way to the end. I know this about myself, because this will be the fourth or fifth time I’ve worked on one. How many finished objects do I have to show for my efforts? Embarrassingly, none. That’s just how I roll, I guess. But, I pledge that this time will be different. To wit:
I’m having the good fortune of being able to show some newer knitters how this pattern works, and how it is so elegant in its simplicity. (Just don’t discourage the noobs by telling them how boring it is to knit after a while, ok? We don’t want to discourage their enthusiasm.)
I’m enjoying some really fabulous audiobooks to listen to while knitting. Right now, it’s the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. I’m only on the second book, and I’m completely addicted!
So maybe this is the time that my long-suffering fantasies of wearing a Clapotis in public will finally come true. It’s about time that I owe this one to myself, right?
Now, if only I didn’t have the distraction of wanting to cast on for Color Affection… It’s a sickness, for sure. Wish me luck.
