So here’s the ugly truth. I am addicted to sugar. And no, I am not saying this lightly; it is completely and utterly true. And ok, the facts are that I am overweight and middle aged, with a family history of diabetes. The proverbial icing on the cake, if I may borrow that sickeningly sweet pun, is that I was an insulin-dependent diabetic when I was pregnant with my second child. Now, I know that when I eat sugary snacks, my blood sugar responds in such a way that should indicate to any smart person that I shouldn’t be eating sugary snacks. One big improvement that I have managed to make is that I have all but given up on sugared sodas, so that is a plus. But I can’t seem to shake the senseless consumption of ridiculous, sugary things that should not even be sold with the label of “food.”
I’m a smart woman; I really am. I know what I should put in my body and what I should not. I actually like vegetables and fresh fruits, and relish the summer months when these things are so readily available. One of my favorite things is to go to a farmer’s market and load up on veggies. And I can do alright for a number of days or weeks without my sugar consumption being out of control. But when the stress hits? I turn into a sugar-craving monster and go out of control. It can be work stress, or home stress, or exhaustion or even extreme elation. And once I get on a bad streak, it’s really hard to come down.
Why, when I know what this dangerous drug, sugar, can do to me, do I continue to abuse it? On the logical side it just doesn’t make sense at all. So I know there must be some deep-rooted emotional reason why I routinely engage in self sabotage. It’s not just a Twinkie, or a Reese’s cup, or the dreaded Caramel Macchiato. Those are the things which are one by one, shortening my life by hours and days… and years. I know this to be true, but so far, I have not been motivated to change my eating habits. I need to find out what my “currency” is, as Dr. Phil would say, and use that. I know.
I have been lacking motivation to change. I know that the sugar itself can be affecting my motivation. So, it’s a vicious cycle. And help! I want to get out of it. Have any of you beat the sugar monster? If so, how did you do it? How do you keep your resolve?
I look forward to hearing your stories.