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14, And One to Grow On…

Diana soaking up the sun on a happy day
Diana soaking up the sun on a happy day
At the risk of sounding mushy, I’m going to tell you that 14 years ago tonight, almost to the very moment of this writing, I became a mother. That moment, at the sound of her first cry, on what was a snowy night in March, was so much more than the realization of a lifelong dream. It was EVERY dream. Practically the only thing I ever wanted in my whole life. And there she was, pink-faced and perturbed that we disturbed her napping with the business of being born. The enormity of the moment thankfully didn’t hit me just then, but eventually it did… that I would be completely and utterly responsible for the well-being of someone other than myself. That not only would I have to keep her fed and warm and clean and dry, but that also I would have to teach her things, and help her find her way through this life that is becoming more and more complicated.

Would I be up to the challenge? To help this little, wriggling girl know the difference between right and wrong, and to help her make good choices? Would I be able to share my knowledge with her without passing on the guilt of my own mistakes?

Would I forget to be so serious all the time, and teach her how to laugh? Would I teach her that the most wonderful places in the world are the ones you conjure up in your imagination? Would I show her how to be curious without being afraid?

Fourteen years ago, as all these things were crossing my mind, I could not imagine being here. Fourteen years on, with a daughter who now towers far above my head, but has the shyness of a child. One who is a giggling schoolgirl and an old soul all at once. We are a work in progress, she and I, and only time will tell me if I have done well. I think so, though, and so far I am very proud that of all the daughters in the world, God gave me this one. I am truly lucky.

Happy birthday, sweet girl. I love you.

Jumping for Joy
Jumping for Joy

2 responses to “14, And One to Grow On…”

  1. Marty Avatar

    Next thing you know, she’ll be grown with a career and kids. Don’t blink!

  2. Holly Avatar

    Motherhood is such a privilege and most days a joy. One of those adventures where you step off into nothing, hoping that your love, skills, and persistence will sustain you over the years.

    May the next fourteen be easier than the last 14! (By next year you will understand completely what I mean!)

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